Thursday, April 30, 2009

Breath of desires.

Right now, at this moment, as of this time, with this mood, I have only one and one only desire.


To be by the river cruise sipping vanilla lattes in between the sweet scent of ocean waves and the serene sound of seas of waves (hold on, i was talking about rivers, how can there be waves? @#$%^) mixed with pleasant jazz beats that soothes you out and makes you want to lie down on a full sheet of fresh green grass and have your mind wander freely. Breathing in the cold breeze at the corner of a busy city in between, a highly lit night live and never ending happy hour that consists of adolescents and young adults thriftily getting wasted.
You began to wonder and silly thoughts that tend to carve smiles began creeping in.
What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboarded down the street at night you could hear everyone’s heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar?
One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone’s hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don’t really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn’t have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war…

Fo' shizzle ma' nizzle.

Love is a strange and beautiful concept. But I fear that is all it will ever be; a concept.

Dear Self,

You're going to be fine.

Sure you're a little moody at times, and a little crazy, and a little unsure of what you want when it comes to the L word. (Being honest, who isn't?) But you're fine.

The answers will come. You will understand what you're supposed to be doing. You'll find someone to love. And you'll figure it out eventually.

You will and you know it.

In the meantime, keep smiling and rock on. And oh, don't forget to bury self in between accounting bibles and ace the sheets too. Very very important indeed.

Love,
Self


Side note : The fact that my mother will be reading my soppy love posts is awkward. I'm turning 20. Holy cow. And oh, actually, I do not know what I want but I do know what I do not want.

Rewind, pause, play.

Pon de replay.

Track and Field Meet, MSSM Penang 2005.
Digged this out and find it extremely missed and memories of delinquent juvenile days came filling in like a swoosh!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

You know what?

Everyone dreams of a perfect ending, a happy ending. I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. It's okay, it's alright. No big deal, go with the flow and score through the bore.

"He smiles and looked away and you were left wondering if that smile was something he couldn't say."

Ling turns 20.

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY LOVE!
Choong Wei Ling, 20, Old and wise ;)
In a blink, it's already 8 friggin' years and I still remember those good old days when we were 13 and shooting hoops at the courts!
God bless our friendship and have a warm birthday love!
xoxo

Superpoke!

Flightless bird.

Damn. Whaddyaknow. Heat strokes days baby! What seems like an internal battle against the Sun. Staying home feels like being stuffed in the oven. Which led to the irregular act of switching on the air conditioner during the day and then chained up to the guilt of contributing to the global warming. Goddamn. This lithe is doing no good to the mother earth. It's been mad Celsiuses the whole goddamn week, for God's sake.. send a lil' love, God?
Little things, major things : (i) Days at home had been somewhat normal. With repetition of daily regular routine. (ii) Tuesday, quick lunch with lad A at Oldtown. Slurped through Ipoh Hor Fun and made fun of almost everything surround. Just like old times. It's nice yet it's awkward somehow. I don't know if it's part of a hoax or a real deal. In Dreamland I shall be. Move along now. (iii) Expecting major sleepover at the lass in the weekend. Spasmodically excitement is in dire need once in awhile, (iv) Trans fat motions. I'm craving for a philly cheese steak, a god old corn dog and a buffalo chicken wings. Hmm. Heaven. Oh, and that ever lust pink lemonade as well. Wait, I need a jog. (iv) Lithe set mind off to it. I want, I will and I would. Nothing's going to stop this full time nerd here. Bring it on!

English men and women.

Sweet niblets! :) I ain't no kid yaw!
Wait for it, wait for it.
Righteous. London might not be the exact choice due to the fairly dear expenses. Anyhow, just a rough draft that is.


Side note : Lad too had plans with UK after graduating. Who knows, we might chill together under the London Bridge one day. *wink*

Monday, April 27, 2009

Britain's Got Talent.

Little heart breakers : Shaheen Jafargholi (Whose Lovin' You), Charlie Green (Summer Wind), Connie Talbot (Somewhere Over The Rainbow). Kids, just kids.. How can you not love 'em?

Heart palpitations.


"Too many of us stay walled because we are afraid of being hurt. We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Revived, merry (II).

You know what? Being vulnerable doesn’t have to be threatening. Just have to have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. It eventually opens the door to deeper communication all around. Nineteen years of vulnerability creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others that everyone wants in life. Speaking from the heart frees from the secrets that burden. (I doubt actually, but it helps) These secrets are what make people like you and me sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps in getting clarity on real heart directives. Now I'm spitting it out.

Through it all, no one gets me like you do.

Take this in, vengeance was a funny thing. You wanted the satisfaction of knowing it had occurred, but you never wanted to actually hear the words out loud, because then you'd have to admit to yourself that you'd wanted proof, and that somehow made you baser, less civilized. The same wall that shuts others out, is the same wall that shuts you in. My emotions are well stabilized now. Trust me. Revived, merry! Cheers to the deceptions of the deceptacons!

Side note : I've gotta get back to indulge self in Jodi's masterpiece. Shalom!

Revived, merry.

Just because a person didn't admit that something had changed didn't mean it hadn't happened.

“Hope was a pathological part of puberty, like acne and surging hormones. You might sound cynical to the world, but that was just a defense mechanism, cover-up coating a zit, because it was too embarrassing to admit that in spite of the bum deals you kept getting, you hadn't completely given up.”

- Jodi Picoult

My life doesn't revolve around you and only you. So, be it.

Beach and sunset.

Ahh, tiresome..

The spinning whirl wind goddamn road ride back home got me off the wrong foot in head. Okay. I'm not talking right either. Righteous. *Inhale, exhale*
Weekend out of town was pretty normal I 'd say. Tagged along with father dear for his football friendly match slash Shah Alam F.C family day in Bagan Lalang. A good brief sight of beach would do you good once in awhile. What's more beautiful than sunsets at the beach? Clears mind off things and have you sinking in to the surround sounds of smashing waves and laughter of an innocent 6 years old digging sands building sand castles. A girl can dream. With the so called knight in shining armor comes striding on a feisty white horse. Well, keep on dreaming kiddo. I'll lure you into the lights when you're big enough. 'Nuff said.
The lithe has reached the maximum satisfaction of a family bonding excursion. Along side with the pretty scene of twenty two other fine men who kick balls for leisure. And half of them were left with a question and the subject of this lithe to be thought of. 'What is that chinese girl doing here?' Golly gee. I wonder. (ps, yay?)

Bagan Lalang's sunset view. Hmm, What's not to love?
Anyhow, wasn't in mood to camwhore.

Side note : I'm having a crucial fascination over living by the beach now. California, I ain't no kidding.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Inman War.

Saw this on Zhuan's facebook status and liked it immediately. Heh.

Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has it.


Quick rants : (i) I find myself having the least bit of extra touchyness and sensitivity lately. Crying in front of reality TV shows. Sheesh. 'Cmon naw gurrrl! (ii) And oh, I'm officially a fan of The Biggest Loser. (iii) Have been reviving self by downloading numerous old school movies and having late night movie gala a la solo every night. (iv) I now have a dream of moving to California beach. Hell yeah. (v) And oh, I can't wait to grow wings and fly. Yet somehow, I'm still waiting for normal body parts to arrive. It's been ages. Geez. I should prolly go count my blessings now.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Smells like dog poo?

'He's sniffing for something better and when he doesn't find it, he gets lonely and comes "home".'
-Anonymous

I'm still in.

Uploading, 98%..

Cinema spamming, killing time with dear girlfriend. Firstly, I'd like to pat self at the back and mouth the word congratulations with a wink to self. As I, have, officially, driven in KL, WITHOUT parents' supervision. Yeah. I'm a goodie goodie like that yaw. I'm currently mumbling with no reason. Ranting. Insert own adjectives to please selves.
Uh, so.. As I was saying, under difficult supervision by dear girlfriend and I, we went for a little unintentional detour to TTDI, Damansara and Bangsar instead of wagoning to Mid. Detour was wrapped up with a little bit of panic scenes and nervous laughters and lame jokes while making the attempts of un-detouring selves. Yeah. This is the picture you'd get of two mindless young naive innocent adolescents *coughs* who never really get around KL with own vehicle. Regular public transport user, proudly I am!
We made our way eventually and ended up happily stuffing self at Chili's and frivolously spammed cinema through 'Make It Happen' and 'He's Just Not That Into You' (for the second time, yes). Apparently, it was either I've seen it or lass doesn't want to see it and the cinema was flooded with horror movies. Not a big fan of horror movies she claimed.
Moving on, over the weekend: a probable lone wolf excursion. Father has a football game somewhere in Bagan Lalang in the weekend, accommodation provided and stuffs and tagging along, are, us. Oui. Fret not. Formal regular perusal towards Jodi Picoult's series are in mind. Have a good weekend lads and lasses!

I ordered Grill Chicken Sandwich and they misheard and brought me Grilled Chicken Salad instead. Oh well.
Fiezah's Cajun Chicken Sandwich. And she forked through a quarter of a quarter of the burger. Woman, you need to eat up!
Kononnye muke orang lapar, tapi hampeh. :p
What's with the sad face? Gee, I don't know!
Oh 'cmon, girls will always be girls.
And oh, that's Fiezah. :)

And oh, lass said I've grown taller over the months. *insert giddy laughs*

Hazwani Amira Hasim, 19.

HAZWANI AMIRA HASIM, 19, BEAUTY WITH A BRAIN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!
You've been nothing but a great girlfriend. Missing you lots and can't wait to kick ass together again next semester. :)
May you have a splendid birthday apart from the mind blowing final you guys are having!
Truckloads of loves and hugs and kisses. :)

Side note : Khairiawani Mat Hairi, mane hilang? Rindu okay? Sila terus memelanggani Maxis kerana Digi, Celcom bagai, mahal. Sekian, terima kasih.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Perfect Sonnet.

Lengthy post coming up!

Lately I’ve been wishing I had one desire. Something that would make me never want another. Something that would make it so that nothing matters, all would be clear then. But I guess i’ll have to settle for a few brief moments and watch it all dissolve into a single second. Try to write it down into a perfect sonnet or one foolish line. ‘Cause that’s all that you’ll get so you’ll have to accept. You are here then you’re gone, but i believe that lovers should be tied together thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather. Left there to drown. Left there to drown in their innocence.
But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter, I read all of the pages and there’s still no answer. Only all that was before I know must soon come after. That’s the only way it can be.
So I stand in the sun and I breathe with my lungs trying to spare me the weight of the truth, saying everything you’ve ever seen was just a mirror. Spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever. Now you’re laying in a bathtub full of freezing water wishing you were a ghost.
But once you knew a girl and you named her lover, danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer, autumn came, she disappeared. You can’t remember where she said she was going to.
But you know that she is gone ‘cause she left you a song, that you don’t want to sing. Singing I believe that lovers should be chained together, thrown into a fire with their songs and letters. Left there to burn. Left there to burn in their arrogance. But as for me I’m coming to my final failure. Killed myself with changes trying to make things better, ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be.
Now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers and layed entwined together on a bed of clover. Left there to sleep. Left there to dream of their happiness.

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinion. Their lives are a mimicry. Their passion is a quotation.

Happy pills!

I rock on harder once I stumble.
There is no reason why. It just is. Mark my words.

Side note : What I have, is what you don't. So TELL me, what's in next?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Laugh Out Loud!

Chinese Courier Service

A family in the Southern Province of China, were puzzled when the coffin of their dead grandmother arrived from the States. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top; which read as follows :

Dear Cousins,

I am sending Ah Ma's body to you since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Tung Shin. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ah-Ma's body, 12 cans of Yohmeitsu.

10 packets of Swiss chocolates and packets of Chinatown Lap Cheong.
Please divide these among all of you.

On Ah Ma's feet you will find a new pair of Nike Air shoes (size 10) for Ah Boy. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Ah Mei's and Ah Lien's sons.
Hope the sizes are correct.

Ah Ma is wearing 6 CK T-Shirts. The large size is for Ah Bak and the others are for my nephews.
Just distribute them among yourselves.

The 2 new Armani Jeans that Ah Ma is wearing are for the boys.

The Rolex watch that Lee Ah Bee wanted is on Ah Ma's left wrist.

Kiasu Aunty Pei Pei, Ah Ma is wearing the Tiffany necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for.
Please take them.

The 6 white Polo cotton socks that Ah Ma is wearing must be divided among my teenage cousins.

Let me know what else you need as Ah Kong also not feeling well nowadays. I can send all required things when Ah Kong goes back too.

Love,
Ah Beng

Kiddo turns 6.

HAPPY FREAKING 6TH BIRTHDAY LITTLE KIDDO!
Mirrlea Diyana, 6, Rebelliously Harmless.
I love you a thousand Red M&M's. :)

Note to Fairuz Rodzi :)

Dear girlfriend,
Well let me clear this off for you. Lol. I am currently happily jobless-ly hanging 'round at home. I was away in the States for two months and therefore I had to take a semester off from my Uni. They can't afford to have a two months class absence as a quarter of most of my papers were graded by attendance. Which explains to you, why I update so much while everyone else is busy busting ass over the finals. :)
I'd be starting my 4th semester
(postponed semester) supposedly next semester which is this coming July, but since I demanded to catch up with my study plan and intended to grad in time, I've decided to take up short courses during the REAL semester break, which is in May. So, meaning I'll start my study in May when everyone's on holidays. :) And then in July (when the real semester begins), I'd be taking up extra courses in order to catch up with the whole semester that I've skipped. Hee. It sounds super complicated. I'm aware. Lol. Anyway, that's the whole of it. Any more clouded minds? :p
Ps, what happened next after you bumped into him? Tell meeeeeee! :D

Heartburn.

Catch a breath! Sip a drink! Plug it in! Pull it out!

Mind boggling issues : (i) Sometimes it's hard. Because there are times when I have no idea what you have in mind because of the walls you keep around yourself. (ii) I hate procrastination. Yet I can't help it. (iii) My naked knees they are, runned down, they are, blackened by the sun where my impatient hands sit jitters, oh all kind of jitter. (iv) Disillusionment : Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. YES. YES. YES. YES. YES! Whoa. 'Nuff said.
Ever heard of old lovers go the way of old photographs, bleaching out gradually as in a slow bath of acid: first the moles and pimples, then the shadings? Then the faces themselves, until nothing remains but the general outlines? I say, wicked! No biggie, better days will come. Move along now.
And, oh, books, I miss you dearly, sincerely, humorlessly.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Part Time Job.

Webcam went haywire. Thank goodness there's doodle to revive self.



EgIe ShWeEt GuRLz.
ROFL!

Me likey likey!

Malaysian's Norah Jones slash Feist slash Fiona Apple.
Ps, Fangirl hormones are still sexually active.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

Sometimes it seems safer to hold it all in, where the only person who can judge is yourself. There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.

Ps, Silence is so freaking loud!

Brighton Breezy.

Don't think or judge. just listen.

Have you ever been in an awkward love scene before?

'I amaze myself with all these messages I send you.
I outdo myself to write these messages for you. It might not come everyday.
Yet there's so much I'd wanna say.
They might not mean much.
It may not mean anything.
Of all messages and such, I ask of you one thing.
To continue on reading.
Of all the words I could compile.
It may even reach a mile.
Though I may not have brought you the light.
I would wanna wish you sweet dreams and good night.'


Seriously, tell me, what kind of nowadays guy type this just to say good night?

'The deep sea would unravel many hidden treasures as the deep space hides unthinkable truth.
The rhythm to a saxophone lies infinite meanings, the vocals of an opera singer wouldn't mean a thing.
Take note to every word out of your teacher's mouth, never leave it down south.
Remember what your parents taught you, you'll regret if you don't think it's true.
The way things are, if the sun has the stars, the earth has the moon, the beautiful days would have the darkest nights.
To tell you what I have in views, is that my heart lies with..you.'


No kid. I was beginning to shake when I read that.

'Most of it aren't connected to anything.
The last line says everything.
What actually clouded my mind, what I had in mind for almost 2 years but I blurred myself from it, what everything meant to me.'


There you go, the freaking 2 years truth unraveled. Told him of how I've been lost for quite some time and still am till now, I'm still in a stage of figuring self out and would do no good to anyone at the nearest time.

'Let me be your knight in shining armor and be in your aid to find you yourself.'


Geez. You've really crossed the friendship line, and I effin' hate it. I had nothing to say but,,

'I'd be really honored to have you guiding me.
But then again, I somehow don't think it's the right thing to do.
I mean, it surely wouldn't be a fair thing to do to you.
I guess I just have to do this thing alone and on my own.
And when I am in a clear state of mind as to what I want and how I want it to be, will I only be able to make it right.'


To no avail,

'I'll let you find your own.
I'll let you be what you want to though at the same time I want to be there for you.
I will be there when you'd need a shoulder to lean on and
I want you to be loved at every single second.'


Crap. Now he's insisting. And the best I could come up with was..

'Thank you, really.
Well, you are here whenever I need you,
you're always there too when I need someone to talk to,
and I know I am blessed as I'm being loved by so many friends of mine.
How can I ever ask for more? :)'


You know how you've befriended a good friend for so long and being harsh and wrecking the friendship is the least thing you wanted to do? Yet you were afraid by being not harsh, he would get the wrong message? It wasn't easy. But I guess finally he got me.

'Probably you don't have to?
But I'll leave you to yourself then.
I'll entertain myself with papers and numbers. :)'

There you go.

Dear Lad, I'm sorry. You're just too good of a friend to be more. And I can't bring myself to face the whole awkward scene. You're perfect, yet not for me. Cheers for the ever lasting friendship!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fangirl Post.

Baaaaangin'!

Ahem, excuse the cheese. No, no - I ain't back in the real world just yet (bare with me!) after the so-called-gig experience I spent watching Yuna and breathing in the same air as her. Breathing abilities are intermittent.. still. I kid, I kid. It's all part of the whole "starstruck" phase I'm in - fag, I know, but c'mon! It's YUNA. 'Nuff with the fangirl mutation. St John's Carnival slash family day wasn't godawful. Wagoned with Su and Amar and Amar's sister, Nadia slash my new sister *cough, choke, wink* when it was approx 1pm, battling cold with the traffic in his mobile, slipping secrets and embracing our neutral counterpart selves in our brotherhood. As if, 'nuff said.
Trailed to St John, parked the mobile on the sidelines and christened self by marching in the school among bunch of school kids (gee, I miss school) and met few people whom I know through friend of a friend and social networking. Yes. Social networking benefits you in a way you wouln't expect it to be. Loitered around for a mo and then contemplated in whether or not to fork out RM15 just to get in to the battle of the band and witness Yuna and Couples (Main highlight : Yuna). Result? Bumped into a good dear old friend who was there to perform as a guest band and I got rewarded two free passes. It was blaaaazin'!
Next on the list, strode in the hall holding the passes with pride and next thing I knew, I'm in a gig? Holy mackerel! (Wait, was that a gig?) Whatever it is, bottom point, Yuna broke out with her first song, Cartoon Couple and I was near to fainting. Godsent Yuna with her petite frame and the way she moved with the guitar. Indescribeable. A rush of enthusiasm hit me that I was semi paralyzed and the only thing moving was my lips mouthing to the songs and my god damn hand trying to record it. Moments after, the song Rocket and then Dan Sebenarnya. Camera flashes were a non stop and everyone was doing sing-alongs. I extricated a scream in me that no one can hear but me. Whoa, heartbreak! Show ended, battle of the band moved on and we went outside with a hope of ambushing Yuna as to Nadia to get a picture taken with Yuna. I was in blur and ended up paralyzed, again, and, missed, the, chance, to, snap, with, her. Geez. *kicks stone* Oh well.
Righteous, next stop, pavilion for lunch slash tea and a movie with the whole lot. Laughed through Paul Blart, Mall Cop and ended day with a mini Kajang trip slash dinner before being sent home (Amar, Su, Nadia, Kajang cool kan kan? Haha!). To wrap, thanks guys, had an effing great day.

Adek baru, baju pun same :p
Amar :) si pencurik kipas :p
Nadine Kazaf
Su The Boss, Nadine The Hot Stuff :p
Roboard! The Guest Band :)
and the one who gave me passes. Yay!
Ni muke ngok.
Su sibuk :p
Sala degrees. :s
Orang semangat record. :p
Atlas, Amar's friend's band :)
Ade rupe gig tak? :p
Amar's gang and one lost child in the middle. :p
Yuna! Oh, this one's from Amar's cam.
Nadine's gang, Carol and Bella.
Brrrrr. YUNA and Nadine. ;)
Ta-raaa.
Fail attempt of expression imitation. :p
Cousin Mira was there as well. :)
Semangat tunjuk sekolah. :p
Tosei, Naan Kambing
Cheesa Naan, Nasi Daging Merah (Nadine lapar sebab tu makan nasi :p)

Side note : Ili, Ann, bile nak gig?

Deeper conversation.

Lad A : Could you tell me what are the consequences of thinking two steps ahead when you dont know where you'll put your foot at on your first step?

Lass A : Consequences? You will never know. I guess you just have to try to know? What's wrong?

Lad A : Nothing. I have somehow developed this.. Ability to analyze things ahead of me. Its okay, but right now my mind is cluttered because of thinking of a.. Certain being. Close to me,yet i feel distant. I cant stop analysing, its clouding my head to much, cant put my mind to rest.

Lass A : Hurmm, isn't there any way u can un-cloud it? You'd be having finals soon and you so can not afford to distract your mind with something?

Lad A : Um, takpela. Ill sit here,pondering on these relentless thoughts. It may have something to do with you,though. :)

Lass A : Cis. You're trying to lure me towards the light and then leave me in the dark again isn't it? Demmit. :p

YUNA-nized baby!

Call me freak, but I finally stepped foot to a sort-of-gig like. :) And, I scored Yuna baby! I'm in love. Can you tell?


Yuna - Rocket
(I wasn't really in front, this was all I got. But still, AMAZING!)

I can't believe we almost got famous for nothing baby
You came the last minute of panic to save me
I can't believe we almost got paid for nothing baby
Cause even if they go away
I got the feeling that you're gonna stay

You're like a rocket in my mind
Waiting to define everything about me
You're like a poster on my wall
Sticking, don't wanna fall
As if you dont wanna move



Yuna - Dan Sebenarnya

Adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
Yang masih bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
Di sebalik senyuman mu itu
Kau juga merindui aku

Pabila kau merenung matanya
Ku rebah,
Jatuh ke bumi
Di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
Seperti ku bernafas dalam air


YUNA, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU.
*screams*
(cue : excuse ridic fangirl-tastrophic)

Believe it or not, I've memorized ALL her songs and been Yuna-nizing myself since yesterday. Sweet nibblets!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I dare you.

I have found the paradox! That if you love until it hurts, then there would be no more hurt as to only more love.

There are some things in life that don’t go the way you want them to or the way you think they should, but you can’t dwell on these because you’ll miss out on other opportunities. Don’t give up one something just because you don’t think things will work, you won’t know unless you give it a try. But don’t hold onto something that left a long time ago, because sooner or later you’ll realize some things just aren’t meant to be.
Dare to look foolish. The real fools are those who never attempt anything. Dare to make mistakes. They are the best teachers you will ever know. Dare to take action. There’s a risk you may fail. Yet if you take no action failure is a certainty. Dare to be fully alive. Dare to speak your mind. Dare to enjoy the beauty of the world. Dare to make a difference. Dare to love. Dare to be the person you know you can be. Dare to expect the best, with your words and actions. You’ll usually get it. Dare to do what is right rather than what is convenient or expedient. Dare dare dare! It will truly make a difference in the way you see yourself, and the way others see you. I am here now, with this magnificent day available to me. I now dare myself to make the best of it for me and no one else but me.


Be mindful what you toss away, be careful who you push away, and think hard before walking away.

Stride, pose, strike, roar!


Chin up. Shoulders back. Walk proud. Strut a little. Don’t lick your wounds: celebrate them. The scars you bear are the signs of a competitor. You’re in a lion fight. Just because you didn’t win doesn’t mean you don’t know how to roar.
I'm roaring, I'm roaring.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Like a man possessed!


HAPPY EFFING 20TH BIRTHDAY DEAREST NABIHAH KAMARUDDIN
Golly gee. How fast time flies isn't it? It's been a year and a half since I learnt your name and befriended you yet I feel like I've known you my entire life. (Like you've been one of my boobies all along. Ngaha.) You're a great woman with crippling strength and fabulous mind. I wish you love and luck for your first year of being an adult. *cough* A-D-U-L-T. Geez. It sounds weird saying it out loud. Bottom point, have a jolly good birthday and don't worry, I'll be there to celebrate your birthday properly. :) I effing freaking love you very damn much girlfriend deary.
*hugs, kiss, hugs, kiss, hugs hugs, kiss kiss*

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hold on tight.

I'll follow you into the dark. I will.

I'm currently killing time while waiting for life to shower and embroil me with happiness. Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy to be normal.
I think I need to be reincarnated. Lasses are now officially off the hook with the un-beguiling guilty conscious summons as of the finals coming right around the corner. Walls and walls of texts to be implanted in the brain. You might think it's crazy but I really miss late night frolicking with good old darn textbooks and calculators and sipping caffeine and crack insipid jokes to keep each other awake and having flutterbys and jiggergy jigs for the thought of striking well and keeping the grades up par excellence and creeping self out with another thought of haphazardly unorthodox failure. And off high pitch giggles and laughters of witnessing each other's involuntarily insane inhuman actions. Geez. I know, get a grip, girl. Well, fret not then. My day will come in a month time and lithe will be cast under spell and be shipped to Terengganu for education slavery and self satisfaction attempt. Looking extremely exuberancely forward to it. I am not genius but I am not dumb either. So what say you if I say bring it on!
And oh, GOOD EFFIN' LUCK for finals dear lads and lasses.

Side note : I'm losing weight! Holy mackerel. I miss American Comfort food. Blergh.

Tagged by Ain Farhanah.

1. How old are you??
I'm still 19.

2. Are you single mingle??
I suppose I am?

3. At what age do you think you'll get married??
When I'm beautiful ans successful? :p

4. Do you think you'll marrying the person you are with now??
God knows.

5. If not, who do you want to marry??
Aaron Johnson boley? Or some hot British accent hunk would do. :D

6. Who will be your bridemaid & bestman??
My dearest boobies. :)

7. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding??
Beach or garden sounds nice. :)

8. Where do you plan to go on honeymoon??
Hurm. All over the world bebeh! :D

9. How many guests do you think you'll invite??
It depends?

10. Will that include your exes??
Why not?

11. How many layers of cake do you want??
Err. I'm no big fan of cakes. Can I have doughnuts or chocolates instead? :D

12. When do you want to get married, morning or evening??
Evening :)

13. Name the song/tune you'd like to play at your wedding??
Er. I've got too many beats in my head right now and I've got a long long way to go before I get freaking married. Haha.

14. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork??
Either's fine.

15. Champagne or wine??
I don't drink!

16. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding??
Days prolly? Get settled down and then off we go. :p

17. Money or household items??
It doesn't matter :)

18. How many kids would you like to have??
3 or 4?

19. Whos wedding plan would you like to know next??
Ili Diyana
Anbreen Aziz
Hany Hazirah
Ama Asraf :p
Suhairi Idzhar :p
Egie Migie :D
Eikha Zulkifli

Ultra-ridic

Shit in Dark Green, Crap in Blue, F*ck in Brown;
Full blast love.

No, I am not swearing. Those were just nicknames. Why nicked ourselves as those? Well, facebook quiz, I blame you! Apparently, it says that those were our swear words? We began making fun of each other and I now find it weirdly cute and amusing. Shit loves you Crap and F*ck! Using swear words inapproriately? Hurm. I'm beginning to have a fond of it. Swear words as nick names? Two words : Fatique Influx. Yes, I need to put myself to bed this instance indeed. Goodnight!

Malaysia Truly Asia.

I am extremeeeeely lazy to talk. I'll just let the pictures do the talkings. :)

Presentation at MACEE. Malaysian- America Commission of Education Exchange.
All nine of us and Kaliswary, the woman behind MACEE. :)
Part time gay partner; Thai
We sort of made plans to capture the beauty of Malaysia to show to the rest of the gang from CCELI. :p
(Community College English Language Institute)
Ze Ladies;
May Leng, Wai Mun, Pui Yan
Part time lesbian partner; May Leng
Aren't they simply adorable?
Wai Mun and Eric's jumping attempt!
Crime partner, rock partner;
Zhuan, Eric
Semi fail jumping attempt of the trio.
Eric's retardness.
Konon konon macam one of Malaysia's heritage. :p
This one, I call it the helping hand :)
So-Called Album Cover. Heh.
A, E, Z, M, T, J, K, M, W
Whale :p
20 years old (but i'm still 19), yes we are.
Finally a shot with the famous tower. Too bad we couldn't get a whole group shot and I was the photographer. Oh well!
Zhuan wanted to jump apparently.
Eric, Thai and I joined in.
The whole gang decided to join later on. I guess we had too much sugar?
Elevator shot. This is called camwhore spam.
Malaysian version of Souriphone Chantalanouvat :)

Presentation went smooth. Photo session went okay eventhough we had to swim through the heat and sweat underneath the sun and beneath Zhuan's whining. Day ended perfectly well and Eric went back to Sabah with tears in his eyes and hugs from everyone. *aww* And oh, with the roti boy in his bag.
I'm having backache and an extreme fatique rush. Bed's calling and I'm entertaining. Shalom!