immensity of affection.

THIS IS A STORY by a lost soul who suffered the immensity of love. read if you wish, leave if you abhor.

you spend days, your mind, whizzing, fixed on one thing, to making it perfect and whole. to finally complete it. the PUZZLE in front of you is merely a few pieces away from the masterpiece it deserves to be. You labor of love. the puzzle before you is so large that it takes up much the space in your room. you tiptoe in your sanctuary of a room, taking in all your favourite details like you always do. from the sheet white walls, to the candles on the window ledge, you walk carefully as to not upset your perfect-to-be puzzle. alas, you couldn’t find the piece. you search for it high and low, poking your face every nook and cranny, emerging with nothing but dust powered all over your frantic face, out of nowhere, you find this another piece, as if genie randomly remembered to give it back to you after stealing it. hah! you think, this must be it! your heat swells with excitement again. after hours at last, you swear you wont give this puzzle a second try, especially after all you’ve done. all the time spent on it.

you rush to the site of the puzzle. glaring at the gaping hole in it, like a dentist looking into his patient’s mouth, filled with cavities. the piece slides in and out, dancing between your fingers. you stared at it, surprised at how such a tiny object could cause you such anxiety and feeling a thousand miles away from closure. bloody fecker! how did you do it? you waste no time and dive right into it, you place the piece in, wrong side! you try again, ditto! why the hell isn’t this the piece? your fingers are numb with the sudden cold of dread triggered in your mind. funny isn’t it, how a piece of pink and grey tangle lump controls how you feel. one minute spawning happiness and in nanosecond making way for Mr Dread to swing by and take you down.

you jam the piece in again. frustration mounds, your palms get sweaty. you tell yourself not to stress out after all, its only a puzzle. but you cant take it, you just want to get it over with, you jam it repeatedly, things turn into a haze. its like a trance. your hands move fiercely and you lose control over it. when you finally come to your senses and that haze recedes you realized you’ve destroyed the whole thing. heck, you even notice a little gash on your hand, dripping with blood pounding so hard. you hurt easily, you finally confess.

you look around the room and admire all the puzzles you managed to finish now hanging in your white walls. why couldn’t you be patient and look for the missing piece you wonder. or, why cant you just accept that it prolly cant be completed, when you have even more beautiful ones around you. you feel sick to your stomach, feeling the pits of it twisting and knotting ad your mistake dawns on you. it hits you like a flying brick. you were caught up in the whole thing, not realizing how petty the matter is, things were going smoothly, one glitch and you screwed the whole thing up.

you pity yourself, you feel disgusted with yourself. you realize that the whole playwright started from you being angry, agitated, furious, before finally skyrocketing into mini sheer rage, to act in anger, is like tying up a ship in storm. anger punishes itself and you were in brief lunacy. but then you realized, anger and you don’t come together.

you sit down, droop your head low, salty tears making their way down your cheeks, dripping on the mess you left before you.

its as if weight was lifted off you. everything made sense, you think to yourself.

of course it would fit. its not perfect but it fits.

because the piece is.. YOU.